Do I LOOK like Dear Abby to you?

That, kids, is the question. Do I look like I have all the answers?

I say the world needs more generalists (and we do! Oh, we do!), and then I find myself being the generalist. People in the Alternate Dimension* keep asking me for advice for things not related to the alternate dimension... It's kindof like the banker being asked about bread-making.

Do they look like a baker? Or a banker?

Apparently, tonight in the AD*, I was apparently playing a doctor. Like on TV. Someone just randomly came up and started asking about their body and health. Really! And not in a self-absorbed "look at me!" kind of way, but a worried "This is what's going on with my body and I'm weirded out by it and can you give me advice?" kind of way. Needless to say, it wasn't the latest round of illness, either. TANGENT: Sic-un has that and it's NASTY. He's out from work until Tuesday morning... well, afternoon. He gets exceedingly dizzy every time he stands up, which causes nausea... That's the symptom keeping him out of work. Otherwise, he's on antibiotics and should be fine.

But still.

Do I LOOK like a doctor? Do I look like I'll give grand advice? If so, why don't people TAKE my advice? They've gone to all the trouble to ask for it.

Anyway, this chick has 'female problems', PID, specifically, and endometriosis. She started going into her symptoms and I said "Ah. Pelvic inflammatory disorder." She was amazed I knew what she had. She's been to a doctor. She's had a diagnosis. She has an appointment with an OB/GYN on Monday. She questions the diagnosis. "My sister says I can't have PID because I tested negative for all the STD's".... I pulled up Wikipedia, pointed to the endometriosis causation. She's worried she's pregnant, so she's taken 8 different tests. One came out positive, 7 others negative. "So I'm pregnant, right?" I ask her when the last time she had unprotected sex was. "Oh, 4 or 5 months ago. It hurts too much!" I asked about birth control. She's been on a birth control pill for the past 7 months that has eradicated her periods, given her fucked up skin and weird bruising on her underarms, backs of the knees..... She couldn't believe it when I told her there are false positives on the stick tests.

I told her write down every symptom she can think of, even if it's unrelated. Write down ALL medications, see if she can pinpoint her health to a specific period she felt RIGHT and WRONG.... . And ask her DOCTOR these questions.

I get asked for advice all the time: My girlfriend/boyfriend..... My husband/wife.... One woman has a hoarding disorder- (I referred her to her doctor)... My hair needs to be..... I should buy WHAT color blouse? How should I handle XYZ? What should I do about ABC?

Fill in the blanks.

This is very strange. I don't feel like I give good advice, although it's well-meaning. And it's usually backed with "Talk to your (doctor, banker, butcher, candlestick maker)." I generally operate on instinct. If I filter stuff through my brain, an answer will come to the forefront. It's usually the right answer, too. I've been accused of being psychic in some circles. But sometimes I need advice myself. Of course, I *hate* asking for advice. HATE. IT. But I do need it now and again.

But again... Do I LOOK like Dear Abby to you?

*AD/Alternate Dimension: Where do you to receive a paycheck every week?


Whirlbrain said...

What color manties should I wear today?

Darkneuro said...

Navy.... Grey's depressing, black too dark and red too much. Navy.

Sweet said...

you do give good advice and well meaning advice occasionally. Its the fact you're intelligent and not just in a book learning way dear. School of hard knocks and people while they may not listen to that advice do subconciously hear what you're saying.