I feel stupid...

....oh so stupid!

Apparently, when you replace the battery in my car, you're supposed to reprogram your remotes immediately. Of course, the batteries have been dead on my remotes for over 2 years now. I just turned the alarm off with the last gasp of juice in the one remote, the other having died long before, and never got replacement batteries. Hell, the alarm didn't go off, did it? And I had reprogrammed it immediately after replacing my alternator when that needed done.
So what happens when you don't reprogram a remote to it right away?

You have to disable the engine killswitch before you can start your vehicle. EVERY time before you start your vehicle.

o_0

So it wasn't the starter (although that went for a very minor trip away from the car to test it at AutoZone). And the car had a vacation from the front of the house, although being stuck at work wasn't quite the vacation it had in mind, I don't think.
Even worse would be if I had paid a mechanic to take a look at it.
But I got a new battery (which it needed), and my little blue bomber from deep in the desert is back in front and I have my transpo again. Tomorrow I'm going to get a set of jewelers' screw drivers to open the cases on my remotes and replace the batteries.
It has really sucked. I've missed (strangely enough) going to the grocery. I've missed being able to get up and go someplace even if I don't go anywhere.

Thank you Jesse and Sic-un! (even if all they did was point out my stupidity)