11.13.2009

The Way I See It...

I knew early on that I didn't see things the same way other people saw things. Things like color and form and the minute differences overall that makes each and every thing and each and every space around each and every thing that makes this world unique.
No matter how many universes, dimensions, continuums, this here-and-now is seen differently by... Everyone.
I don't know if it was the heat, the sun, the dozing day off this is rapidly becoming (but really shouldn't. I have to return library books and go shopping.), but I was looking at the side of the house and I saw

Opus. Or a study of Opus. You know, Opus. And yeah, I do see it still and will for awhile more. But most people would look and say "What? That smudge? What is that? What caused that? Ew!" and I just see a track left by some kind of plant or creature and I see Opus.
And it could be because I'm reading Sagan, thanks to Karl Elvis and the bargain bin at the local BAM.
But it does all come down to each individual.
I can see tones of the same colors that other people don't see. I hate matching paints up because something that other people can't see sends me into giggle fits ("That's the wrong navy. No, really, I'm telling you, it's much much lighter than that other navy. Yes, it's almost black, but it's the wrong navy.") or conniption fits, one or the other. At my mother's house, my bedroom was always pink. The color was Strawberry Shake, and they didn't mix it right at the paint store, so instead of the paler, it was brighter and it jarred the senses.
When I was 16, they allowed me to pick out my own wall paper and it was an ashy pink lily with a greyish jade leaf on a slightly creamy background with sponge stripes separating.
The walls became grey.
It was a calm room.
I weep easily at schmaltzy crap, and find it very hard to cry when I'm sad. I've cried more in anger than in sadness. I've hollered more in laughter than in anger. I groan over bad puns, and then make some of my own. Sic-un won the last pun-off. I pretty much taught myself to read and still marvel at the fact that something I've always pronounced in my head one way will sound different when it's pronounced properly... Sis caught me on 'epitome', which still looks like epi-tome. I caught myself out recently on Epiphone guitars. I've always thought 'epi-phone', but it struck me the other day "Dimwit! It's epiphany! GROAN"... Right? Like grey-gray. Both are acceptable, but gray is the more common, but it's really a different sort of word, gray is very hard and grey is very soft and that's how I see grey when I see grey.
At least, that's the way I see it.

Politically, I'm screwed. I don't believe in bread and circuses and I do believe teachers should be paid more and the people that are paid the most are paid too much for very little work. But I'm also against big corporations being given personhood status and mucking about with the food supply and the water supplies and hey... You know why the bees are disappearing? Has it ever occurred to ANYONE that it could be they just don't like the fucking flavor of genetic manipulation? I don't agree with the government bailing out the banks, I don't agree with the government bailing out housing, I don't agree with the cash-for-clunkers program (wherein the mostly traded vehicles were large, gas-guzzling trucks traded for more-but-newer large gas guzzling trucks). I think it's all bread and circuses. The last time this seriously happened, when banks fell and housing was bust and people were out of work in droves all over not just regionally or locally, we had the New Deal programs which have just become another cog in the government machine. Put your artists to work! Construction crews out of work? Why not put them to work for the government (hell, if we're paying them unemployment anyway, may as well get some work from them!) taking care of housing for the homeless and/or poverty stricken? How many blighted neighborhoods are financed by HUD and are falling apart? Put the unemployed back to work, dammit! Wait! They need places to live? How about you agree to something like the Habitat homes? Work for your mortgage! What are you working for anyway? Housing? Ok.
I'm not moderate, really, the problem is that I'm the only one who thinks the way I think.
At least, that's the way I see it.

Everyone wants me to be happy about having separated days off. I think it sucks, and each person who wants me to be reasonable and accepting of it has weekends off. Weekends, meaning 2 days off in a fucking row. I have to request time off to get it. It's not fair and I will continue to spout off on it occasionally. But it just means I don't have to work on the days they could actually use me the most because I'm taking time off. I can afford to work 35 hours a week. Really. It means things become a bit scrape-y, but I can. So I don't mind having to take the time off to have days off in a row.
And yeah, that's the way I see it.
Next time off is Sun-Tues. I'm gonna see about working more on my fan starting Saturday night. THIS Saturday night.

2 comments:

Whirlbrain said...

I almost laughed the last time my boss put me on nights and stated while pointing at the calendar (particularly Thanksgiving), "See here? I'll be working on the holiday."

Oh fucking boo hoo! Is it only me who sees the comparison as laughable?

Working one holiday (at holiday wages) isn't the same as turning your life upside down.

At least my days off are all in a row. I guess I should suck it up and be happy about that.

mmcbryar said...

I know it sucks to have your days split like that, they'll probably shuffle the schedule again soon, they changed mine again for next week. apparently, I'm a closer again next week lol. ah well, that shift diferential is nice, though the holiday pay is gonna be nicer still, especially since I work all of them this year, Thanksgiving, x-mas eve and day an new years.