Bad form!

Remember, kids: If you're going to go on a 'booty call', call first.

Sic-un's Ex#2 showed up tonight.
Oh yeah.
Showed up. Pulled up to the front of the house at 11:30 at night and officiously waved Sic-un over to her truck.
He asked if he could take her to the spare room.
Whatever. Whatever. Sic-un and I have talked about this. We wouldn't do this to each other, invite a fuck over for fucking while the other is there without a discussion or agreement first. We've talked this out.
Unfortunately, neither one of us even thought about the fuck taking it upon themselves to be so ill-mannered as to come over to the house in the middle of the night to say "OOoh, I'm horny!"
I said whatever.
Once, I'll say "Whatever."
But after this once?
If she shows up again without calling first, without arranging it first, she's getting a golf club up the side of her head if she steps one foot into this house that I pay money for each month.
Sic-un and I, we're OK. We are. I'm not angry he... I'm not angry another woman had him in bed. I'm not. I can't be. I CAN NOT BE PISSED ABOUT HIM GOING TO BED WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
A little strange never hurt anyone. Ever. I'm OK with him going to bed with someone else.

This is what pisses me off about this...
I have never NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER gone out to get laid from a fuck buddy without calling first.
And if some fuck had waved me over to their vehicle to tell me they're horny? Oh, honey... You treat me like a whore you're gonna get treated like a john. And it's cash up front, thanks much.
She comes off... Her family has been in the area forever. Old area name. As in "They have street names named after her family". There's a certain cachet that comes with being an old name in the area around here. And the old saw about "Southern manners" is true, really. People say please and thank you and hold open doors for you and all that bit...
Apparently, nobody has ever said "CALL FIRST".
Which leads to this stalkerish behavior. Yes, I said stalkerish. I asked Sic-un (after I had gone to the store to get out of this house while they did whatever...if I had seen her, I would have punched her, just for the bad manners-anyway, she left apparently in tears) what would have happened if we didn't just happen to be outside when she drove by... He said she probably would have parked and waited until he came outside to smoke.
She has his number. Both of them (house phone and cell). She has his email. SHE KNOWS I HAVE GIVEN MY OK TO THEM FUCKING EACH OTHER.
No reason to not call. No reason to not email.
And bad manners!

I've had bed buddies. I've had fuck buddies. I've had meet-ups just for sex. YOU CALL FIRST.

I don't mind him going to bed with someone else. I did manage to point out that J is rather good-looking, and the other is really pretty too, and ...well, Ex-wife#2 isn't. That made it just funny. If he had a good-looking chick, I may have asked to join in. But that? Ew. Eww. Bleh.

And the manners. Just...

Now I have the image of Hoffman dressed as Captain Hook saying "Bad form! Bad form!" in my head. Truly bad manners to not call first.


Whirlbrain said...

Are you really cool with him fucking her? After all it's not really strange, she's an ex.

I don't mean to cause trouble. I'm just sayin'.

Julia and I had an agreement:

1) Be up front and honest about it. No sneaky bullshit.

2) Don't fall in love.

3) Don't make a habit out of it.

Whirlbrain said...

OOPS! Forgot #40 Don't give me any unexpected "gifts that keep on giving."

Whirlbrain said...

#4 I meant. I give up.

SKiPinCincy said...

Well, #2 can be hard to NOT have happen sometimes. The key thing here is the ground rules. Open and honest, and don't violate the rules. Ex #2 needs to understand this.

And you wouldn't be human if this didn't bend you out of shape. *Hugs* and strength for you both. Good things have come from the two.

Darkneuro said...

I'm fine with him sleeping with someone else. Hell, if she's cute enough, can I join in?
And him sleeping specifically with Ex#2 is fine and has been discussed and approved... My first 'this is what I want to go on if you sleep with her' was '24 hours notice', but that was discounted (by her) because her son is care-dependent and she apparently can't make a schedule for some reason. That was changed to 'Ok, call first.'
The reason I was/am irked is that she didn't call. She has both #'s, has his email, apparently had enough time to go get a bottle of something and get at least slightly drunk or have a drink somewhere, but didn't CALL. She drove up to the house at 11:30 at night and expected everyone to be OK with it.