this battle is....OVAH...

Christmas meal was good. Ham. Slow roasted, one of the so-called 'city' hams, I braised it, then lightly glazed it. There are leftovers, but an almost-8 pound ham for 3 people? It was picked with leftovers in mind.
We didn't have a tree. No place to put it, really, so we just stacked the wrapped stuff on the chair.
Sos-u likes his robe. His mother purchased him a laptop. He also got a shirt and socks. Well, from me and Sic-un. Picked out by me, and Sic-un gave me money.
Sic-un. Jeans, 2 pair, and a quilted flannel. And socks.
Insert smile here, Dear Reader. Yes, everyone got socks for Christmas.
Even I did, if you count my present to myself.
I have to count the present to myself. Otherwise, I'd be a whiny, grasping little ungrateful pathetic wretch.
Not that anyone has said so.
This is not a label I'd normally give to myself.
But I feel very ungrateful and very...
Whiny and hurt and rather unliked right now.

But see, Dear reader, it's a sad day when one realizes if one wants presents of any sort one must buy them for themselves.

Ungrateful. Grasping. Whiny. Pathetic.

Mom said she hadn't gotten my box off and that's cool. I understand, completely. It was touch and go if the kids gift cards would arrive or not. I understand mailing time.
Sic-un's mom met me once and not under the most auspicious circumstances.  She had no idea my tits were as big as they are, so it's very understandable the pullover didn't fit.
Money's a bit tight, so Sic-un giving me the $ I had spent on Sos-u's presents was very welcome.  And since he has child support to begin with, it's understandable without question.
So it's all very understandable.

There's a sting, though, when one sits and realizes that out of the packages (one) bought specifically for YOU individually outside of the work Secret Santa thingy? You get exactly none. Leading to ungrateful. Grasping. Whiny. Pathetic.

Add to it the insult of your fan belt breaking on Christmas Eve at dusk, right before a snow.

I can say very honestly this Christmas has felt like quite a bit of a battle. I'm tired. I feel drained. The candies turned out OK, but not as good as I hoped. I did less than I thought I'd do, used the day as an excuse to get my loved ones less than I would have liked to. I wanted to get Sic-un the overalls, and some other shirts and more jeans. They both need thermals, and the tipi-creepers were on the list at one time. I was originally going to give out cookie-kits as well, but ran out of flour (of all things) and could only find the $7 cookie scoops, so it really became not economically feasible. Still, enough is as good as a feast, they say.  The work Secret Santa thing netted me a really good smelling candle. Just a jar candle, but it's "Amber and Sandalwood" scented and really pretty smelling.  And there's my socks. And tax time is coming up. I should get somewhere between $800 and $1000, like I have for the past 4 years. I'm planning on shopping with some of it. Conman has laid claim to some of it as well, he with the guitar on his brain.... But I'm going to keep him to right in the $200-300 range. Nothing really higher.

So I feel wretched and greedy and grasping. And I'm really REALLY glad the holiday has now passed.

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